(The Everything Show)
The amazing show starts now!
The team to open up our show
are superstars at the traditional markets!
Watch some feats of strength!
Hello.
We've been practicing feats of strength for 10 years.
- I'm Gupal! / - And I'm Chilsip.
Gupal and Chilsip!
We are not here to sell things.
$5 for some refrigerator pants.
An amazing deal.
Hey, what are you doing?
It's not like that...
You fool!
It's spandex.
For the feat of strength we'll show you...
We will break this baseball bat
with a kick.
You're amazing, Chilsip!
Gupal will do it!
What?
Huh?
- Chilsip. / - Yeah?
I can't do it.
- You can't? / - That's right!
We need to talk things over.
Gupal, follow me.
Gupal, if you do this,
I won't pretend I'm pregnant in front of your parents.
No wonder my mom yelled at me!
Then I'll do it.
Very good!
(Do not try this at home)
You did it!
Are you okay, Gupal?
- We sell cookie sticks too. / - Very good.
Hold on!
You can't sell things here.
Just by a cookie stick.
I have a bar of chocolate here.
I want to buy that chocolate!
Go sit down!
Come backstage if you want to buy one!
Our next performers are masters of Korean singing!
It's the genius traditional singers!
Hello!
We're the last remaining traditional singers in this era.
- We're Nonsense! / - Nonsense!
The story we'll tell you today is
"The Tale of Chunhyang."
Great!
Mongryong was worried about the state examination
and this is what Chunhyang said to him!
♪ If you can't study, go to Gag School ♪
- Nonsense! / - Nonsense!
♪ Out of Chunhyang, Sohyang and orchestras ♪
♪ The best is "Hometown Report" ♪
- Nonsense! / - Nonsense!
Chunhyang turned down Governor Byeon's advances,
so she was thrown in jail.
This is what Chunhyang said in jail
as she longed for Mongryong!
Are you okay?
- I'm... / - Nonsense!
♪ Out of bed service, application and district office ♪
♪ The best is denim on denim ♪
- Nonsense! / - Nonsense!
Mongryong becomes a secret agent
and goes to save Chunhyang.
This is what Mongryong says to Governor Byeon!
Follow me to the rooftop, you...
- Nonsense! / - Nonsense!
♪ Out of the rooftop, imagination and world ♪
♪ The best is breadbox ♪
What's up, humans?
- Nonsense! / - Nonsense!
Hold on. Who's that?
He can play any song on the Korean drum.
He's the god of Korean drumming.
The god of Korean drumming?
Show them!
Hold on...
How did you cast this person?
He's actually a fan of ours.
That's why we got him here for free...
- Nonsense! / - Nonsense!
- Get out of here! / - Pay me tomorrow.
Okay.
Get out of here!
Introducing the next show!
Get ready to meet some amazing performers.
It's the Three Fat Tenors!
♪ Braised monkfish ♪
♪ I want some ♪
♪ When you look back ♪
♪ Will we make eye-contact? ♪
♪ My heart baguette, baguette, baguette ♪
- ♪ I hope nobody notices ♪ / - I noticed!
Give me that!
- You still don't get any! / - Give me.
Wow, you're so petty.
- It's mine. / - Fine, be that way.
So greedy...
♪ I'm hungry ♪
♪ I do the hula with a tambourine ♪
♪ Hula, hula, hula ♪
♪ Cola, cola, cola ♪
That's pretty good.
I want some.
♪ Sounds good ♪
♪ Tell me, tell me ♪
♪ T-t-t-t-t-tell me ♪
I want a bite!
- Just a bite! / - I spat on it! I spat on it!
It doesn't matter! It doesn't matter!
What? I just spat...
You didn't give me any of your baguette.
You didn't share. This is mine.
- Eat your own stuff. / - Fine.
Unbelievable...
♪ I'm hungry ♪
♪ Sounds good ♪
♪ I'm hungry, sounds good, I want some ♪
♪ A cheap place with late night snacks ♪
♪ A cheap place with late, late, late night snacks ♪
Where is it? Where?
- Where? / - I'm not telling!
Tell me!
It's a secret.
Wow, unbelievable.
It's just for me.
So greedy.
♪ I'm hungry ♪
♪ Whipped cream ♪
Wow, sounds good.
♪ Sounds good ♪
♪ I believed in you and my friend was a sea squirt ♪
Eat them hot.
I don't care if I burn my mouth.
My good friends.
The hot ones.
♪ I'm hungry ♪
♪ Sounds good ♪
♪ I'm hungry, sounds good, I want some ♪
My pants are too tight.
Moon pie!
♪ Pie ♪
(Pigeon Magic Troupe)
They're here to make up for their dark pasts.
Introducing Mr. Gwon of the Pigeon Magic Troupe!
Hello.
I'm Magician Gwon Jaegwan.
I'll show you a simple trick first.
I'll show you a telepathy trick.
I have the numbers 1 through 5.
We'll have someone in the audience pick a number
when my back is turned,
and then I'll guess the number.
Please get it ready.
Who wants to pick a number?
Who will pick a good number?
I'll have this person pick a number.
Make sure everyone sees it.
A number has been picked, boss.
I'm getting the telepathy now.
I'm getting the telepathic message...
I have it!
Answer! 5!
- Magician Lee Seongdong. / - Yes?
Let's try one more time.
I'll pick someone else this time.
Sir, pick a number please.
Show everyone.
So everyone can see...
A number has been picked, boss.
I'm getting the telepathy now.
I'm getting the telepathic message...
It's coming... I have it!
Answer! 2!
Oh, come on.
The drum gave away the answer.
The drum gave it away.
You, chatty guy.
Let's bring him up on stage.
Come on up.
- It was the drum... / - Come up here.
You're very clever. I bet you got good grades.
Now I'll have this audience member...
Write any number from 1 through 100
on this sketchbook when my back is turned.
Then I'll guess what it is.
Here's the pen.
Move, please.
I wrote a number.
Hold on. We need to clap the slate.
Answer! 12!
Applause!
You two planned this.
Now...
I'll show you our amazing trick.
A slide that takes you to the past.
Introducing, the magic slide.
We'll bring in Magician Yun Seunghyeon
to help us with this trick.
- Magician Yun Seunghyeon. / - Yes, boss.
Come on out.
Hello there.
- Magician Yun Seunghyeon. / - Yes.
Climb up to that slide.
I'll make Magician Yun Seunghyeon
go back 20 years.
Magician Yun Seunghyeon, are you ready?
Yes, boss.
I'll make him transform.
Abra, abra, abracadabra!
(Seomun Uhyeon, child actor)
This way please.
Are you Magician Yun Seunghyeon?
That's right, boss.
Oh, really?
Good job.
Now I'll make Magician Bae Jeonggeun
go back 20 years.
- Magician Bae Jeonggeun. / - Yes, boss.
How old are you now?
I'm 26 years old, boss.
26?
Yes, boss.
What happened to him?
I'll show you how Magician Bae Jeonggeun
looks as a 6-year-old.
- Are you ready? / - Yes, boss.
We'll all say the magic word at the count of 3.
1, 2, 3!
Abracadabra!
Let's see how Magician Bae Jeonggeun changes!
Oh!
Magician Bae Jeonggeun!
What the...
Is this how you looked when you were 6?
Yes, boss.
You looked like this when you were 6?
I was 70kg when I was 6.
Amazing. Applause!
(Call Center)
Hello!
I'm Jeong Haecheol, operator for red ginseng.
I'm Lee Hyeongjeong, operator for a jewelry set.
I'm Yang Seonil, operator for dashcams.
Buy a crock!
They were made by a human cultural asset!
Buy one!
Yes, ma'am.
Those that normally have high body temperature
can turn red if they eat our red ginseng, but that's...
A metal rash.
But you don't have to worry with our jewelry.
Try getting one as a gift for your girlfriend.
Then your girlfriend...
It'll crack!
But our crocks don't crack.
They were made the traditional way, so the surface...
Is touch-screen.
It's very easy to use.
Our dashcam is delivered quickly too.
If you order today...
6 years.
This is 6-year-old red ginseng.
And kids that aren't growing
ate our red ginseng regularly, and their height...
Became smaller.
It's smaller, but the resolution has become clearer.
My car got robbed recently. I saw the footage
and the thief's face...
Is so pretty!
If you wear our entire jewelry set,
you'll look better than a movie star.
Ma'am, our red ginseng was grown by Kim Deokpal,
who has been farming ginseng his entire life.
He got the presidential award last year and now...
It's in the crock.
The secret of fermentation is in this crock.
Buy a crock and...
Hang it on your neck.
Your neck will look bling-bling.
Try going to an alumni meeting with the necklace.
The police will come immediately.
The police is contacted
as soon as there's an accident.
Sir, don't panic when the police comes and...
Try proposing.
Get on your knees, show her the ring
and when the mood is right,
take your girlfriend's fourth finger and...
Suck on it.
They come in tubes that you suck on.
Sir, our dashcam is the newest model.
Unlike other car cameras, our product...
Can breathe.
The entire crock breathes.
That's why the pastes taste so good.
If you don't make paste right, it'll attract bugs.
Maggots and mold.
They're all in this pouch.
It's cheaper if you buy two.
Buy some for yourself too.
"Dear, I got some for myself too."
Then your husband will...
18k.
It's 18k rose gold.
And those getting married soon might be
worried about a gift.
Then you should...
Rewind.
You can always rewind to see the accident.
And some people drive aggressively.
For people like that...
Bury it in the ground!
It's just like a kimchi refrigerator!
Our product is very popular, sir.
That's why our dashcam...
Is the best wedding gift.
You won't regret it.
Sir, you really should buy our dashcam today.
Then we'll take the camera...
And melt it into a ring.
And so that you drive safe...
We're giving away ginseng wine.
And as an air freshener...
We'll throw in a bean paste block.
Yes, sir.
Thank you for your purchase.
(Ms. Shin)
Ms. Shin.
- Director Jang. / - Yes.
A hard-working friend of mine sells sunglasses.
- Sunglasses? / - Yes.
So can these sunglasses be shown on our drama?
I don't think so.
Gosh... You're so mean!
I'll just walk by with them on.
I can't even do that?
We're doing a historical drama.
- Oh, right. / - Yes.
Can I say they came from China?
Wow, you're the best at distorting history.
I don't think that'll fly.
Yes, I shouldn't distort history.
Hello.
Taehun!
I heard you were changing agencies.
Yes, my contract expired.
I'm thinking of starting my own agency.
I'd manage my own schedule
and handle all the accounting.
I want to do it by myself.
You're the best at doing it all!
Practice your acting with Ms. Shin.
Hello, Ms. Shin.
Hey there, Taehun.
- Your contract expired? / - Yes.
I know a great manager. Want to meet him?
Who is it?
His name is Chunbok.
He's been a manager for 45 years.
He's an amazing driver!
He doesn't need a GPS.
He can make it to Beolgyo with only a map.
Oh, right. But you have to talk to him
when he's driving.
Why?
He tends to doze off.
I see. I'll just do it on my own.
Alright. Tell me if you need to get in touch with him.
Okay.
Ms. Shin, can you coach me on my acting?
Sure.
What's the scene today?
It's a love story between the guards.
My goodness!
Do I get to do an action scene?
I'm into the role now!
- Then I'll get started. / - Okay.
Are you hurt?
I'm fine.
Let me see.
Does this hurt?
It hurts me too.
I'm sorry.
What is it?
Did you see a grey hair on my arm?
It's not that. I guess I'm not into character yet.
You're not into character?
Then should we study the character all night?
I'm into character now.
Gosh, that sure was fast. Goodness...
Can we try again?
Sure.
Are you hurt?
I'm fine.
Let me see.
Does this hurt?
It hurts me too.
I'm sorry.
What is it?
Do I stink from sweating?
Taehun! It's a misunderstanding.
I didn't dry my laundry properly.
It's not that.
I was surprised by how you got so into the role.
That was surprising?
I can show you some acting that's more surprising.
- It's fine. / - Goodness...
I thought I'd get to warm up... Geez...
Can we try one last time?
Sure.
Does this hurt?
It hurts me too.
Don't ever hurt me again.
Master...
Why are you being so good to such a lowly person?
I could die happy right now.
Master!
In the script, you just act surprised.
What the...
My goodness! I got a bit too into it!
I just act surprised?
You smile as you act surprised.
My goodness!
How do I smile as I act surprised?
Like this?
Ms. Shin!
Hey, Nami.
The director is looking for you.
- The director? / - Yeah.
Thank you, Ms. Shin.
Taehun! Taehun! Taehun!
- Ms. Shin. / - Geez! You scared me!
I bet you're hot.
If you know, give me some space.
That's why I brought some cold rice punch.
Try some.
My fans made this for me.
- Goodness, hey! / - Yes?
Do you make your fans bring stuff like this for you?
Geez, you think I don't have fans?
You think that's why I'm accepting this?
I bet your fans think that
I'll be mean to you if you don't bring me anything.
Goodness...
Will you punch them if they don't make rice punch?
No.
- Goodness, hey! / - Yes?
Didn't you hear me make a joke?
Will you punch them if they don't make rice punch?
My goodness... So ignorant.
Ignorant?
Ignorant! That's so funny!
I was being sincere.
Ms. Shin, can you help me with my acting?
Go ahead and run your mouth.
Here I go.
I should kill you!
You're just a lowly servant.
How dare you have eyes for a nobleman?
My lady...
I don't have eyes for a nobleman.
That's a misunderstanding.
Don't make me laugh.
You think I'll just punish you?
You and your entire family should prepare yourselves.
My lady...
So...
Please leave my family alone.
My lady...
If you harm my family...
I won't stand for it.
I won't stand...
For this anymore.
- Goodness, hey! / - Yes?
Didn't you see me shoot a dart at you?
Goodness, hey!
Did I shoot a spear at you?
Goodness...
Am I that strong?
You want everyone to think
I'm some kind of macho woman.
Youngsters these days are so scary.
So scary!
I'm sorry.
- Goodness, hey! / - Yes?
Didn't you see me shoot you with 6 darts?
Ms. Shin.
- Are you okay? / - I'm fine.
- Ms. Shin. / - Director Jang.
We'll have some product placement in our drama.
It's pricy, so I feel bad for asking.
- Then should I do it? / - Really?
- Really? / - No, no!
I'd love to do it.
I'm ready to sacrifice myself for our project.
I'll act naturally so that the product
can be clearly seen.
So what's the product?
It's for a funeral service company.
You get inside a coffin.
Goodness... A coffin?
You can even take the coffin home after the shoot.
It's made of paulownia, so it's really nice.
Ms. Shin, I hear paulownia coffins are great.
She's so lucky!
My goodness...
I'm going to put you in a coffin today!
(So Touching)
Manager Jeong.
Lunch break is almost over. When will we eat?
I'm starving here.
Chief.
Can we go get some lunch?
Lunch?
Our team has the worst numbers in the company!
And you want to go out for lunch?
Don't even think about leaving!
Stay in the office and work!
- He won't even let us eat. / - That's messed up.
He's the worst.
- He should let us eat. / - Food delivery!
- Excuse me! / - What the...
We didn't order any food.
It's hot outside. Eat indoors.
Chief!
What are you all doing?
The noodles are starting to swell!
He even mixed mine!
Here's your coupon.
Give them the coupon.
He's so kind!
Chief!
Eat up and get to work!
Thank you, chief.
What a relief.
- Looks good. / - Where are the chopsticks?
Hold on...
- Deputy Yang. / - Yes?
Deputy Yang, I see you applied for a day off.
Oh, yes.
Didn't you go on vacation recently?
Yes...
Are you out of your mind?
A day off right after your vacation?
It's not like that...
My mom is sick.
- Your mother is sick? / - Yes.
So am I.
I'm sore and sick all over!
I can't stand the sight of you.
Don't bother coming to work tomorrow.
- What? / - Don't come to work!
Until your mother gets better.
Chief!
Then who's going to write my report?
Don't worry about the report!
Just worry about your mother!
I'll write that report!
Drawing up the contract...
The budget report...
Our numbers for the first half!
He's such a good worker!
Chief!
You'd better work hard today though!
Yes, sir!
Hey, Chief Song!
Hello, Mr. CEO.
What happened to the report
I told you to turn in by today?
Well... That's Manager Jeong's responsibility.
Manager Jeong, you didn't turn it in?
Well... I'm sorry.
See? This is why this department
always has the worst numbers!
Geez, it's not like I can fire all of you...
You're parasites sucking the company's money.
That's enough!
You can badmouth me.
But I won't let you badmouth my team!
I can't work under a CEO
that mistreats his employees.
So what? You want to quit?
Yes! I quit!
Fine. Do whatever you want!
- Wait... / - Hold on...
Chief...
Are you going to get fired because of us?
It's fine.
A different company scouted me!
And I got promoted to director!
Chief!
How could you?
- Then what about us? / - Yeah, what about us?
It was under the condition I could bring you guys.
And you're all getting promoted!
Chief... No...
Director!
Deputy Im! Manager Yang! Chief Jeong!
Chief!
We love you!
(Love Ladder)
I think I'll be dating soon.
I'm going to avoid dating.
What?
- You mean you can't? / - I'm avoiding it.
- I'm avoiding it. / - Be honest.
Did he give up?
I think dating will go easily.
I'm going to live
each day like I'm dating.
How sweet.
I'm so envious of these two these days.
Why though?
You were checking out girls
on Instagram in the green room.
No! That's... No... Don't say...
How do you send direct messages?
- Quiet down. / - Stop it.
- Just sit there. / - Stop.
That's why there are rumors about me.
I'll talk first.
I want to talk to the ladies.
Ladies.
I bet you're concerned about what type of guys
you should to date.
But these days,
it's not about the type you should date.
It's all about the type you shouldn't date.
So what kind of men shouldn't you date?
You shouldn't date cheaters.
- Right. / - He's talking about himself.
- I am not. / - No?
Just be quiet. I'm talking.
So ladies,
how can you tell if your man is being faithful?
It's very easy.
For example,
your boyfriend said he was home all weekend.
Yet you couldn't get in touch with him
and you're suspicious about something.
So what should you do?
Check your boyfriend's car.
His car?
I hear guys gulping in the audience already.
Giving their girlfriend an awkward smile...
Yes. I think someone mentioned it.
You can check his GPS
to see the last place he went to.
Or you can check the car seats for hairs,
or check the dashcam.
But all that can be deleted or tidied up.
He already got rid of the evidence.
Then what should you do?
You should start taking notes now.
Check his toll receipts.
The tolls don't lie.
You have to go that far?
That's all you have to do to catch him.
But some guys might've not taken the highway.
You could take national highway.
They could've taken the national highways.
That's why habits are important.
You have to have the right habits.
Ladies, when you get out of your boyfriend's car...
Honey, thanks for driving me home.
85,007km.
Check the mileage on his car!
If that number is a lot bigger
when you see him after the weekend,
then your boyfriend definitely took someone
somewhere over the weekend and...
It's a wrap!
You can get to the bottom of it.
- Chills... / - Is he a cop?
So, back to my point.
What kind of guy should you date?
You should date me!
Why are they clapping?
- As for me... / - Why?
I do not have a license or a car!
That's true.
Who would like to be in a committed
relationship with me?
Don't be ridiculous!
He got rid of his car so there won't be evidence.
- What? / - Don't let him trick you.
- Don't be ridiculous. / - Don't be deceived.
Is this the kind of guy you want to date?
That's why I don't date.
Dating...
- That's a strange reason. / - No.
- That was so random. / - No.
Don't say things like that.
I'm not here to talk about dating.
I am here to talk about the deep-rooted
discrimination in Korea.
People...
On December 24th, 2012, there was an event...
- For single people. / - That's true.
I was the host of that event.
I was fooled.
I thought it was an event for singles.
But it wasn't!
It was an event for them to get together...
- And become couples! / - That's true.
They should've called it a couple event!
But thankfully,
what we saw the most were...
1. Men.
2. Pigeons.
3. Cops.
4. Vendors.
5. There were a few girls sprinkled in there.
I knew it!
The government needs to make
an official event for single people!
The presidential event for singles!
Or one by the ministry of culture and sports!
Doesn't that sound nice?
A real event for singles
would be all the single people gathering.
Then we'd all chant.
Singles in heaven, couples in hell!
As we chant that, we'll march to city hall.
150,000 participants.
150 cops.
- How would that be possible? / - That's so different.
We'd stop by a movie theater on the way.
And there,
we'll all sit with an empty seat between us.
So that couples can't sit together!
We'll sit in every other seat!
Imagine 150,000 single people marching in.
What a sight.
And seeing us sit in every other seat
would truly be magnificent.
These single people are gifts from God.
Isn't that nice?
And when we arrive, we'll chant our slogan.
Our demands!
We want more street lights so that couples
can't be affectionate in dark alleys!
And another demand!
The Deoksugung stone path is known
for breaking people up!
We want that all over the country!
The government needs to make an official event!
- ♪ Singles, singles, all the singles ♪ / - What?
♪ Singles ♪ What?
- Stop it. / - Why?
I know you really want a girlfriend.
N-No!
- No! / - Just give me that.
- It's not true. / - Have a seat.
Come here.
It's not that hard to become a couple.
You just have to be thoughtful.
As the saying goes,
girls prefer a thoughtful guy over a nice guy.
- You heard that, right? / - Yes.
I'll tell you all how to be a thoughtful guy.
Girls love partying.
That's why I took my girlfriend to a nice party.
Where do you think we went?
- A club party. / - A pool party.
I took her to my grandma's birthday party
in the countryside.
My grandma, grandpa,
aunts, mom, uncles...
I took my girlfriend to see my entire family.
"He wants me to meet his family.
He must really be into me."
This can give your girlfriend some reassurance.
It's very thoughtful.
- What? / - Is that right?
- No. / - That's what you have to do.
But my girlfriend seemed really awkward around...
- My family members. / - Of course.
So that she could relax
I sent her to the room with all the women.
Why?
My grandma, mom, aunt, female cousin,
my three older sisters and my younger sister.
Women have things in common.
- I have 4 sisters. / - Wow.
I bet she had a lot of fun with them!
- Oh, no... / - You have to let the girls talk.
And when we were all together with the entire family,
I gave my girlfriend a chance to win their favor.
Attention, everyone.
My girlfriend is going to sing a song!
Give her a big hand!
I handed her a spoon.
Girls love being the center of attention.
♪ Today's star is you, it's you ♪
This is the Wanna One thoughtfulness.
After our meal,
I was very thoughtful as I sent her home.
How did I send her home?
Auntie.
Can you give my girlfriend a ride home?
It's okay! Just relax!
You can talk on the way.
I got her home safely and comfortably.
It's the private taxi thoughtfulness.
That's terrible!
Honey, you can look forward to next month.
My uncle is having his 70th birthday party!
- No! / - Look forward to it!
I'm so thoughtful.
Geez, you're so thoughtless!
That's why none of you are married.
- That's thoughtful. / - Watch and learn.
Happiness...
Comes after you get married.
Hello, I've been married for 2 years. I love my wife!
I'm Park Yeongjin.
Yes.
My wife is good at everything.
She's good at cooking and she's nice to me.
She's... Really something...
Hold on... That sounded...
That's how happy I am.
Before I got married, whenever I got a craving,
I'd just go out to eat.
But now...
My pretty wife cooks me everything I want to eat.
I said I was craving curry
and she made some curry.
But what's amazing is that
I thought curry was eaten in 3 minutes.
I had to eat curry for 3 weeks.
She made this much curry!
♪ We eat curry for 3 weeks ♪
That's too long!
And I said I was craving soup.
So she made this much kimchi soup.
But if you keep reheating it over a week,
the kimchi soup becomes braised kimchi.
Then if you reheat it for another week,
the braised kimchi becomes kimchi stir-fry.
But what's amazing is that
by adding water to the kimchi stir-fry,
she turns it back into kimchi soup.
Recycling.
This is the Mobius kimchi strip.
I'm so happy!
Are you really happy?
You don't look like it.
I'm so happy!
And another thing.
Before I got married,
it was my dream to travel around the world.
But now,
thanks to my pretty wife...
- I travel around the world every day. / - Really?
A Northern European hardwood table.
An English utensil set.
A fine Turkish carpet.
A Japanese hinoki tub.
A French carbonated water maker.
An Irish dining table.
What's amazing is that
the Irish dining table
costs more than actually going to Ireland!
But I get to enjoy the Mobius kimchi strip
on my nice Irish dining table!
I'm so happy!
Truly!
You don't look so happy.
I need to get home now.
Why?
We're getting Finland in our home today.
What? How?
She bought a bed made of Finnish birch!
Hurray! Hurray!
Hold on.
That sounded strange.
See that? We're all actually...
Very happy!
(Sweet Potato)
We are sweet potatoes.
Frustrating sweet potatoes.
Beauty.
We are sweet potatoes.
Frustrating sweet potatoes.
I'm thirsty.
Time for a beverage.
A crisp new bill.
There.
Cola.
We are sweet potatoes.
Frustrating sweet potatoes.
(Refreshing Statements)
Hey, Mr. Park!
It's me. Why do you always make me wait?
Get over here now! I'm waiting for you.
Just go straight.
Yeah, I'm already at the coffee shop. Starbucks.
Not ducks! Starbucks!
- Mister. / - Yes?
Could you please keep it down?
Oh, sure.
Alright...
I said to go straight!
- Geez, how frustrating... / - Mister.
- Yes? / - Could you please keep it down?
Can't you see I'm studying?
Can't you see I'm on the phone?
This guy just doesn't get it.
See? Even the lady next to me is frustrated
that you just don't get it.
I'm talking about you, fool!
Yeah, you, fool! You!
Get over here now!
Hold on.
- Me? / - Yes, fool!
Let me call you back.
Fool?
Lady, you must be out of your mind
to talk to me like that.
Why are you picking a fight with me?
Mister, do you not understand Korean?
Do you hear out of your butthole?
I told you several times to keep it down.
Why do you keep shouting like that?
Did you rent out this entire cafe?
You're being so loud and disturbing.
I'm trying to study for my real estate license
and I can't concentrate on a single thing!
If you want to be noisy,
go to karaoke and shout all you want!
Lady, did you drink hot iced Americano?
Get it together.
Do you live here or something?
I noticed that you've been sitting here all day
with just a cup of coffee.
You're the worst, lady.
Why don't you study at a library
or a study hall or at home!
Why are you at a cafe?
People that like to study at cafes
always end up cramming on the last night
and fall asleep during the exam.
Sleep tight.
Geez...
Mister, did your brain expire or something?
At least I don't cause harm to others like you.
Why are you being so loud in a public place?
Do you know how bad noise is for you?
Noise is very harmful for your mental health.
It impairs focus and your ability to calculate
and make decisions.
And the louder the noise gets,
the more stressed out you get.
If it's over 50dB, your heart rate goes up.
If it's over 60dB, it impairs your sleeping.
If it's over 70dB, your blood vessel contract.
If it's over 80dB, your hearing becomes impaired.
So if you want to be noisy
keep it below 50dB!
What the...
Geez, why did you come to this coffee shop?
This lady is really ticking me off.
Why are you going on about decibels?
You didn't do anything right.
You're the one that's causing harm.
You've been hogging this seat all day,
so new customers can't get a seat.
Then the cafe can't make money.
The owner won't make money.
He won't be able to pay his employees.
Then this cafe will go bankrupt.
Then the owner will be stressed out.
He'll probably drink to relieve his stress.
Drinking will lead to illness.
Illness will lead to death.
Then you'd go to a different cafe.
But then you'd end up killing the owner of that cafe.
You studying like this is killing off
all the cafe owners, you serial killer.
Don't disrupt someone's place of business
if you're going to study.
Keep it in moderation.
How about I give you a moderate beat-down?
Forget that. I hope you study hard
and finally contribute to society.
I don't want to waste my time with you.
Mr. Park, forget it. I'm out of here.
What's this?
That's the buzzer.
I guess it's a new kind of cell phone!
Someone might think you're a comedian.
Forget this. I have to study for my real estate license.
Don't bother me and leave.
Don't study that. Study up on society.
Don't worry. I got a perfect score in social studies.
I bet you were bullied in school.
I got the best grades in my school.
I bet there were only 2 students in your school.
Geez, I don't even want to talk to you.
It'd be easier to talk to a foreigner!
I'm very knowledgeable!
I can speak English. Want to see?
I don't like you!
Well, same to you! You're insane! You're crazy!
Crazy? I should slap you!
You want me to slap you silly?
- Hit me! / - You think I won't?
- You think I won't? / - Hit me!
Mr. Kim, sorry for being late.
- Alright. / - Forget this. Let's just go.
- Alright then. / - Dear!
What the... Dear...
Say hello. This is my business partner Mr. Kim.
Mr. Kim, this is my wife.
Why hello there.
She's studying so passionately at this age.
My goodness, you're a gentleman just like I heard.
Please sit and talk.
No, no. We'll go talk at karaoke.
(Come On!)
Step, step, step, step.
5, 6, 7, 8.
1, 2, 3, 4....
- 5, 6, 7, 8. / - 5, 6! Come on! Come on!
1, 2, 3, 4....
5, 6, 7, 8.
Hello, I'm Michael!
Forget about all your stress and concerns
through exercise!
Viewers at home,
do what we do!
5, 6, 7, 8.
- 1, 2, 3, 4.... / - Basic! Stress and concerns!
Forget them all!
- I have a concern. / - Yes?
People usually say I'm handsome.
So you're concerned about people lying to you.
No.
I'm satisfied with my looks.
You're a pathological liar.
No!
I just need to fix one thing. Then I'd be perfect.
What should I get fixed?
Here? Here?
Here?
Here.
Come on!
1, 2, 3... Here?
Here? Here?
I'm flawless.
- Basic! 1, 2, 3, 4.... / - Michael.
- I have a concern. / - Oh, a concern.
I'm going on a date with my crush tomorrow.
- A date! / - Congratulation.
Alright.
I don't know what lipstick color I should use.
What would be good?
Hot pink, light pink, modern pink or shiny pink.
Which one looks better?
Black Pink.
Come on!
1, 2, 3, 4....
5, 6, 7, 8.
- Basic! 1, 2, 3, 4.... / - Michael!
I had a great time drinking last night!
I had fun too!
Did your wife say anything about getting home late?
I'm a man trying to make a living here!
- True. But that girl from yesterday... / - Come on!
1, 2, 3, 4....
- In the king game... / - Come on! Come on!
- Number 1... / - Come on!
- Next time... / - Come on! Come on!
Come on! Come on! Come on!
I love you, honey.
I love my wife and my country.
- Basic. 1, 2, 3, 4.... / - A loving husband.
- 5, 6... Are you tired? / - Yes!
- Are you tired? / - Yes!
If you're tired...
Come on!
1, 2, 3, 4....
5, 6, 7, 8.
- Basic. 1, 2... Are you tired? / - No!
- Are you tired? / - No!
- You're not tired? / - We're not!
If you aren't tired... Come on!
1, 2, 3, 4....
5, 6, 7, 8.
Basic! 1, 2...
We have a new member at our exercise center!
Come on, new member!
- Where? / - Who are you talking about?
Right here!
- Where? / - Where?
- She's right here! / - Where?
You can see me?
Holy cow...
Come on. 1, 2, 3, 4....
5, 6, 7, 8.
Basic! 1, 2, 3... Now...
My partner, Chris, will give you a great life tip.
Chris, what's your tip of the day?
This is how to enjoy your vacation at home.
- Just remember 3 things. / - 3 things?
- Netflix, comics, mom. / - Netflix, comics, mom.
Mom?
Mom.
Mom!
Come on!
- 1, 2, 3, 4.... / - Just remember those 3 things!
Netflix, comics, honey.
Honey?
Honey!
What is it?
Come on!
1, 2, 3... I love you, honey!
5, 6, 7, 8.
- Basic. 1, 2, 3, 4.... / - Excuse me, teacher.
I have a concern too.
- Really? / - Geez...
Problem solved!
Come on!
1, 2, 3, 4....
5, 6, 7, 8.
Basic!
It'll be the next month soon, people.
And you'll have good news next month!
- The Chuseok holiday! / - No!
- Is it your birthday? / - No!
I'm raising the lesson fee! Come on!
1, 2, 3...
- $300 each for 6 people. / - I'm going to quit!
- I'm quitting. / - I quit.
- I quit. / - Forget this.
I'll stay.
Come on.
(How Awkward 1)
This place has the best bar snacks.
Ma'am, can we get some rolled eggs?
How awkward.
I'm a customer here too.
I'm a customer here.
I'm sorry.
Why aren't you guys drinking?
I'm the only one getting drunk.
I want all of you guys to get drunk tonight!
Drink up!
How awkward.
This is water.
Why are you so drunk?
Hey, isn't that girl cute?
Should I ask her for her number?
Hey, scumbag. You already have a girlfriend.
I'll go talk to her.
How awkward.
He's married.
- Just sit down. / - Alright.
What's taking this guy so long?
The youngest one is always late.
- I'm sorry. / - Hey!
Why were you so late?
You should take a punishment shot.
A boilermaker!
Drink up! Drink up!
How awkward.
I'm the hired driver.
How awkward.
(How Awkward 2)
Wow, nice house.
Thanks for coming.
Of course. You came to my housewarming party.
I got you a lamp.
How awkward.
This is what I got him for his housewarming party.
Oh, thanks! Can you put it in the master bedroom?
Yeah?
How awkward.
This is a studio.
- I'll just put it here. / - Alright.
Hey, I know you guys don't eat well these days.
Hold on.
Ta-da.
I made this with a bunch of healthy stuff for you guys.
Eat up.
How awkward.
I guess this dumb-bell is healthy.
There's even a jump rope and some vitamins.
At least we can eat this!
- Let's all have a toast. / - Alright.
Cheers!
How awkward.
What are these people doing in this model house?
How awkward.
(How Awkward 3)
Man, this food is horrible.
I want to see the owner. Hey!
How awkward.
This is a funeral.
Is something wrong with the beef stew?
It tastes off.
Gosh...
How awkward.
It says, "Congrats on your wedding."
What's this guy's deal?
You poor thing...
You were such a beautiful woman...
Oh, no!
How awkward.
My father passed away.
Gosh...
Dad!
I was late from taking a flight! I'm sorry, dad!
Dad!
How awkward.
I'm an only child.
Oh, my long-lost sister!
Brother.
Excuse me...
You! How dare you show your face here?
You never showed up when my dad was alive!
How dare you show yourself here? Get out now!
How awkward.
I'm an employee at this funeral home.
How awkward.
(Are You Human?)
What the...
An alert?
What?
Aliens have invaded Earth again?
Geez, those alien scum...
Hello, Dr. Hong.
Who are you?
I'm an applicant here for my interview.
- Oh, you applied through email. / - Yes.
Nice to meet you.
Just a moment please.
What does Dr. Jo want?
Dr. Jo. Hologram.
Video chat.
Show me Dr. Jo.
- Dr. Hong. / - Yes, Dr. Jo.
I received a tip that an alien will kidnap you.
Me? Then what should I do?
That's why I invented a weapon to defeat them.
- A weapon? / - The fantastic emerald sword!
The fantastic emerald sword?
That looks like a balloon.
- Shut it. / - What?
I'll send this to you. Try to be careful.
Alright.
Send.
Now what?
I'll have to ask the clown to make me another one.
End call.
I wonder if he has time though.
What is he talking about?
- Mr. Park Jinho. / - Yes.
You came a bit late for your interview.
I'm sorry.
There was a black hole so I had to go around it.
Just say you overslept.
Dr. Hong, I have something for you.
What is it?
I heard you like pet animals.
Ta-da.
A bunny. How cute. Where did you get it?
The moon.
He was getting tired of making rice cakes.
I think he's out of his mind.
Please get it together.
Why do I keep getting these alerts?
What? Information on the aliens?
The aliens don't have a spine so they're flexible...
And... Hold on.
They have 3 lips?
What the...
What is this?
An alien!
No, Dr. Hong. I was just excited.
What are you talking about?
Dr. Hong, just come with me somewhere.
- An alien. Stay away! / - Dr. Hong.
That's it. A machine gun!
He's catching all the bullets!
What is this? What is he doing?
He made the bullets into Dippin’ Dots!
It's because I'm hot, Dr. Hong.
Don't be ridiculous.
- No, Dr. Hong. / - Stay away.
Force field!
That's bullet-proof glass, alien scum.
What the...
What's he doing?
What is this?
Come out, Dr. Hong.
He opened the door with an automated lock?
Safety comes first.
Don't be ridiculous.
I have a grenade.
What is he doing?
He's doing tricks with the grenade!
Amazing... Off his shoulder...
Now he's spinning it on his finger.
What is he doing?
He put it in his mouth...
And it came out his other mouth...
That's...
Dr. Hong.
Dr. Jo.
Were you attacked by the alien?
What's with your hair?
I went to a salon in Gangnam. Does it look weird?
It looks really weird.
Shut it!
You always say that to me.
Dr. Jo.
My attacks and my defense
are ineffective against the alien.
Then I'll help you get out of that place.
You'll help me get out?
- That switch on the wall should get you out. / - Yes.
End call.
I think my hair looks fine.
What is he saying?
That's it. Get me out of here!
What the...
Did I get out?
What is this?
You came to my planet by yourself?
That's right. It's hard to believe, but I'm an alien.
Big surprise!
Boys.
I am Groot.
What the...
Get him!
What is this?
What are you going to do with me?
♪ Why did you come to our house? ♪
♪ We came for flowers ♪
What is this?
We didn't have enough to make even teams.
Rock, paper, scissors!
I want to go back to Earth!
(Momentary Home Shopping)
This is Momentary Home Shopping with Lee Munjae
and we'll start now.
The product I'd like to show you today is a bicycle.
We've brought in the developer and CEO, Yoo Minsang.
Hello!
Let's exercise by bike riding.
That's right. Yoo Minsang's bicycle
was made using cutting-edge German technology.
That's right.
Try going fast on our bike.
It'll start a fire.
- That's... / - And Yoo Minsang's bicycle...
Has a great bell on it.
People have to get out of your way.
I'll let you hear it.
Ring, this is Yoo Minsang.
If you don't get out of the way, I'll kiss you.
Hold on. What was that?
The people will part like the Red Sea.
Not even an ant will be left on the street.
That kind of offends me.
The miracle of Yoo Minsang.
Stop it.
We'll tell you more about our product.
Those that have been riding for a long time know
that riding only works out your lower body.
But with Yoo Minsang's bicycle,
you can get a full-body workout.
Take a look. Don't be surprised.
See?
It looks like this.
Just to hit the brakes you have to...
You'll crash if you're arms aren't strong enough.
- That's why it's surprising. / - Very much so.
And that's not all.
Yoo Minsang's bicycle is very easy to store.
So you go to the bike rack...
You turn it like this and then...
You just lift it from here...
Just lift this part and...
It comes apart so easily.
Then what? You just let it go.
- You put this here. / - Hold on.
And put this here.
And that's it, people.
You destroyed the bike.
Isn't that easy?
Hold on. Then...
What do you do when you want to ride again?
When you want to ride again,
you just have to weld it together.
- You have to weld it? / - Yes.
How convenient.
Isn't it a great bike?
- Housewives ride bikes these days too. / - Yes.
So we prepared a special bicycle for housewives.
Come on out.
Hold on.
There's a shopping cart on it.
Can you even steer that bike?
Hold on.
You can't turn it so that's why you're pulling it.
That thing can't turn!
It can only go straight!
You need a dime to be able to ride it.
How does that even matter?
Now we'll bring in a consumer using our product
and hear his review.
Come on out.
Hello, I'm Jeong Haecheol.
I'm 33 and I live in Dangsan.
I enjoy riding Yoo Minsang's bicycle.
It's very fast.
To tell you how fast it is,
I got a speeding ticket for going 120km per hour.
What?
I went to Vietnam for my summer vacation.
It's a 5-hour plane ride away.
I should just take my bike.
I got to Vietnam 30 minutes before the plane.
What?
Yoo Minsang's bicycle is amazing.
It's so amazing
that it left my home on its own.
He's being ridiculous!
Happy now?
What?
What was that?
What's his deal?
Is he out of his mind?
Let's cut to a quick commercial break.
This tastes so bland.
♪ Use seasoning, use seasoning ♪
♪ Use seasoning when you cook ♪
When you cook, Yoo Minsang's bicycle.
What?
How is that relevant?
That was totally irrelevant!
Don't you all want one, people?
Please call now.
This has been Yoo Minsang's radish kimchi.
Bicycle!
It's the best!
(Bongsunga School)
Hello!
I'm the teacher of Bongsunga School, Kim Daehui.
Who wants to talk first today?
Put your hands up in the air!
DJ Mix time!
Hello, teacher.
I mix everything. I'm DJ Mix Sejin.
Alright, Mix Sejin.
I didn't have much of an appetite at home,
so I mixed some chil-oil into some rice.
What? Chil-oil?
I mixed chili paste and sesame oil!
You startled me.
It was delicious.
Teacher, there's so much I want to do this summer.
- I want to go surfing. / - Alright.
And I want to go glamping. That's my dream.
So I mixed those 3 words!
DJ Mix, drop the beat!
Surfing, glamping, dream...
Surfing, glamping, dream!
Su-gl-eam!
My goal is su-gl-eam!
Everyone!
Su-gl-eam!
This has been DJ Mix Sejin.
Good job, su-gl-eam.
Who wants to talk next?
Hello, teacher!
Hello.
I run a mart nearby. I'm Mr. Toto!
So what brings you here?
Who made this?
What's wrong with instant noodles?
Who started eating this uncooked?
When you eat this uncooked, it tastes better!
I put some water on to boil to cook instant noodles.
Huh? I'll just break a small piece off.
Only half left!
I should stop eating this and add the soup.
I added it to the bag!
Oh, no! Oh, no!
Now what?
I started eating it again!
It's spicy.
What?
It's spicy, but still delicious!
It's spicy, but still delicious! Spicy...
Now what? I should stop eating this!
Yeah, you should stop.
I can't help myself!
Stop eating that!
I'm going to smash this apart!
I'm going to smash this!
Now they're bite-sized pieces!
Delicious!
Who made this?
Go sit down.
I'll be back next time.
Okay, Mr. Toto.
Who wants to talk next?
Where are these brats?
Look at this.
They're all here.
This one dyed his hair.
This one's outfit is inappropriate.
All the weird students are in this class!
Want to go to the beach with me this weekend?
No, there are too many weirdos at the beach!
What's wrong with the beach?
There are all sorts of idiots at the beach.
Those drunk idiots that just
drink all day instead of getting in the water.
The guys that swim with their friends and go...
- Hey. / - Yeah?
A shark.
A shark? Where?
These aquarium fools.
Renting one tube to save money...
I want a ride too!
Those broke idiots that share a tube like this!
Every time a group of girls walk by...
How many are you here with?
Those idiots that just hit on girls!
And when they fail to pick up a girl...
Hey, we'll just have a guys' night out.
But when a pretty girl passes by...
Guys that are like meerkats!
Nobody does that.
I do!
I'm out of here.
Alright, good-bye.
Who wants to talk next?
Teacher!
♪ Do it myself ♪
♪ All by myself ♪
Hello, teacher.
I'm the mild-mannered model student, Yamsaeng!
You're so noisy! Could you please be quiet?
Zip!
What is it?
Teacher, when we took the quiz earlier,
someone cheated.
What? Someone cheated on the quiz?
Who was it? Raise your hand if you cheated.
- Me. / - Huh?
- You cheated? / - Yes.
- He was the only one? / - Yes.
It was just me.
What's your deal?
Why did you cheat?
I couldn't study from going to my grandpa's house.
What did you do at your grandpa's house?
Yesterday...
Oh, it was a memorial service?
No, I played hide and seek.
Ready or not, here I come.
- I found you! / - You brat!
- Hey! Hey! / - I found you!
What are you doing? I'm your teacher.
No, I shouldn't blame you.
I should've taught you better. It's my fault.
I should be punished.
Don't say that, teacher.
No, no. I should be punished.
Teacher...
It's fine.
Down on all fours.
What?
Get down on your hands and feet.
Go sit down, you brat!
This has been Yamsaeng!
Geez, that brat...
Next is CD!
♪ Please just... Even though ♪
♪ The moment I... ♪
♪ I'll give... Everything ♪
It's fine.
That's pretty good.
I'm going to fill-in for G-Dragon's absence.
I'm C-Dragon or CD.
How are you going to fill-in for G-Dragon?
What the... What's that for?
This is totally swag.
I'm going to work at a fruit shop.
I'll totally have swag at the fruit shop.
What will you do at the fruit shop?
First, I'll talk about all the best-selling fruit.
Swag-berries.
And swag-egranate.
Lastly, swag-peaches.
Time to start selling some fruit.
Swag-apples for $10 a swag-box.
And our apples make great juice.
Swag, swag, swag.
This is swag-fresh fruit juice swag.
What are you doing?
And while G-Dragon is in the army, I'll make it a trend.
I'll totally make it a trend.
Make what a trend?
This watermelon will become my army helmet.
These lemons will become my grenades.
Lastly, this megaphone
will become my machine gun.
Don't I look like a soldier?
This will totally become a trend. Ready, guys?
Let's start the performance.
♪ I have much to do since I was born as a man ♪
Salute-swag.
Alright, go sit down now.
Next is the proud Korean! Kim Seongwon!
I love Hangeul and I'll never speak English.
I'm a proud Korean. I'm Kim Seongwon.
- You'd better not speak English today. / - Alright.
Good.
People, when it's hot out like it is now,
you can't help but to think of winter.
We'll talk about the various ways to enjoy winter.
During the winter,
you can have snowball fights.
You can ride a sled.
So much fun!
And you can ride these
snow insoles through the snow.
What's that called?
Ride snow insoles through the snow.
Why snow insoles?
Snow insoles!
People call this something else. An English word.
- These are snow insoles, right? / - Of course.
What?
Don't agree with him!
It's true.
- There's a different term. / - Nope.
- It's an English word. / - Nope.
- No! / - Don't say it!
- Don't say it! / - No!
No, Seongwon!
You said no English!
- No! / - Hold it in!
Don't!
Ski!
S-K-I!
Ski!
Jet quick shift ski.
All round double deck infant short ski.
Ski-nky toe.
Reality variety show...
"Ski Meals a Day."
Baek Gwangho from "Memories of a Murder."
Why him?
Hyang-ski was pretty.
♪ If you know someone nice, ski me up with him ♪
I can't not speak English.
Just call them skis.
- Really? / - Yes.
Let's continue.
Now I'll talk about the various places we can sleep.
You can sleep in an inn.
- You can also sleep in a sauna. / - Right.
And a room for two of you to stay for the day.
You can sleep in this day room for two.
What? What is that?
A room for two just for a day.
Day room for two.
You should start a naming center.
Amazing.
Teacher.
There's a different word for this.
Sir, this is a day room for two, right?
Is that your father?
No!
He's not!
It's a short word in English!
Day room for two!
- Don't! / - No!
- Don't say it! / - Don't!
- Keep it in! / - No!
- No! / - No!
- No! / - Don't say it!
Motel!
M-O-T-E-L!
Motel!
Romantic Malibu motel.
Luxury Italian full service healing prime motel.
Master Motel.
The beer snack...
Grilled motel.
- Yoo Minsang. / - What about him?
Motel alone.
♪ I was in love ♪
♪ We met ♪
♪ It was an un-motel-able memory ♪
Go sit down!
Knock on the door bye.
- What? / - What does that mean?
I'm out of here! See you again!
Bye-bye!
I'm out of here! See you again!